*** 9 Reasons to Love a Plumber’s Crack ***
9. Positive Body Image: Feel good about your physique again when you at least confirm your pants aren’t working that hard.
8. Underwear…Model?: Preview different undergarments on a real live model. Are you sure you want to go with those plaid boxers after seeing them in action? Straining, pasty action?
7. Storage Facility: If you get in a bind feel free to store any manner of things in there…credit cards and even a pen to sign the check later are both fair game. Many plumbers like to be tipped this way so keep cash on hand! (Disclaimer: We do not endorse this tactic.)
6. Tan Line Inspection: The less defined your plumber’s butt-tan is the harder he’s working, right? If he’s got a swimsuit line all the way across he’s spending too much time at the beach and not enough time getting experience that will help him fix your sink.
5. Conversation Skill Builder: In a desperate attempt to think about anything other than his crack you’ll gain valuable experience making idle conversation with a stranger. Conversation that doesn’t involve anyone’s posterior.
4. Total Focus: At least you can rest in the fact that if your plumber’s working SOHARD they neglect to feel a cool breeze on their you-know-where they’re at least paying attention to your pipes.
3. Lax Dress Code: Seriously though, if your plumber shows his crack you don’t have to worry about changing out of your pajamas while he’s there.
2. Good Stories: Really, who doesn’t love a good “My plumber’s crack was so big…” story? You’ll have comedic gold to spin for at least three weeks.
1. You Hired a Plumber: The best part of being eye-to-eye with a plumber’s crack? Knowing he’s the one on his hands and knees pulling who knows what out of your drain. Calling in Pell Plumbing to fix your plumbing issues gets you one step ahead of the game, even if it means a little more crack than you’re comfortable with.