*** Bad Pass Knocks High School Referee’s Toupee Clean Off His Head ***
by Matt Keohan
I gotta imagine that if you’re a guy who goes through the trouble of getting fitted for a toupee, then purchases one, then glues that rag to your melon, then goes on living a permanent lie, you’re probably pretty self-conscious of your bald spot. A toupee is the grown man’s version of wearing a t-shirt in the pool. Sure, you can wear one, but you’re only highlighting the reality, not hiding it. I mean, I don’t wear a bathing suit in my gym’s locker room because I have a baby arm below my waist. I do it for some misguided sense of self-preservation. Leave me alone.
Given the deep insecurities that drive a man to purchase a head rug, you can guess how humiliating it would be for the bad boy to pop off in a front of a large group of people. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you this Kentucky high school basketball ref.
I mean, re-attaching a hairpiece after you’ve already exposed yourself is like putting your underwear back on after you’ve soiled yourself. The exact moment when you want to crawl back in bed and never come out of the house again…But hey, who knows, maybe a New sport has been invented.